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The secret life of swingers: New reality show reveals what REALLY goes on when five 'average' couples swap sexual partners

Published: 22:50 BST, 7 August 2013 Updated: 14:22 BST, 8 August 2013


A new reality show will follow five 'average, all-American' couples as they juggle marriages, careers and daily life with swinging.
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Couples that star in Secret Sex Lives: Swingers are professionals and parents in committed relationships living in Atlanta, Southern town in the heart of the Bible belt with a lively swinger's scene', and are in committed relationships.

The Discovery Fit & Health show will provide an in-depth look into the nuances of how they navigate swinger relationships and psychology - and also give audiences a voyeuristic look into their lifestyle.

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Behind closed doors: A new reality show, Secret Sex Lives: Swingers, will explore how five couples combine their careers and families with the swinger lifestyle

'The biggest misconception about the swinger lifestyle is that we're hooking up with people day and night, or that I'm a stripper or something,' says Jaymee, a senior account executive who has been swinging for three years with her lawyer husband Everett.

He agrees that setting ground rules is crucial. 'I'm not like Tiger Woods, picking up chicks behind Jaymee's back and hooking up with them.'

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Jaymee says that she gave birth six weeks ago to the couple's first child.

'When I found out I was pregnant my first thought was 'thank God I haven't hooked up with any other guys lately, so it's definitely Everett's baby.'

Family lives: Everett and Jaymee have an open relationship, but she is currently struggling with her confidence level after giving birth

The show also follows Rebecca and her consultant husband Chris on a double date with a new couple. In many ways the nervousness mirrors the awkwardness of a normal first date, which is why Rebecca explains that she has a 'safety word'.

'If I'm having a good time, I say yes when he asks if I want to order dessert,' she explains.

At a dinner party across town, swimwear designer Hali and her husband Bryan explain the swinger lingo to newcomers Jayson and Heidy, who have expressed interest in the lifestyle.

For example when swinging, couples must decide if they will allow 'Full Swap', which is full no-holds-barred sex, or stop at a 'Soft Swap', which usually does not include intercourse.

First date: Chris and Rebecca are shown on a somewhat awkward first dinner date with a new couple

Happy endings: But later, at the club, Rebecca has chemistry with the woman she met on the date with her husband

To find a swap partner, couples also try to avoid the more 'Vanilla' monogamous duos, with the help of a 'Cruise Director' - a person in charge of the action at a swinger's party.

If they get really lucky, they may meet a 'Unicorn' - a single woman who sleeps with couples - but Bryan explains that 'everyone is looking for this girl, but no one has ever met her'.

Initially, Heidy seems reluctant. But on an evening out with the other couples, it's Jayson who gets jealous after he finds Heidy talking to another man in the bedroom.

Testing the limits: Heidy isn't sure that she wants to participate, but later it's Jayson who gets jealous when he finds her talking to a man in a bedroom

Many signs of a swinger seem failtly obvious, such as: 'Couples who are openly flirting with other couples.'

But other things to watch out for, like a 'pineapple placed upside down in a shopping cart' or 'pampas grass in the front yard garden,' seem more like urban myths.

Swingers can also apparently be identified by the outside of their homes. According to Discovery's website, pink and purple decorations in the yard or white landscaping rocks are both signs of alternative sexuality.

So is body jewelry: Thumb rings, toe rings, waist chains and a woman moving her wedding ring to her right hand are all signs of a swinger - as are yin-yang tattoo

'The biggest misconception about the swinger lifestyle is that we're hooking up with people day and night' - Jaymee

According to Swinger Social Network, swingers account for two- to- four per cent of married couples, or an excess of two million people in North America.

Swinging and sex parties have grown in popularity in recent years, re-vamping their image from bowls of keys belonging to suburban housewives, to chic sex clubs with strict requirements for entry.

But outside their hedonistic hobby, the couples are proud of how 'normal' and functioning they are in a society that shuns their lifestyle. Just like monogamous couples, they put emphasis on strong communication and transparency.

But they have to deal with questions that most relationships never face, such as how far they are allowed to go when having sex with a third party.

Many swingers insist that their alternative lifestyle has made their marriages stronger.

One study conducted by the University of Washington Center for the Study of Health and Risk Behaviors showed that in the last two decades, the number of unfaithful wives under the age of 30 increased by 20 percent and number of unfaithful husbands under 30 increased by 45 percent.

Because the sexual experimentation is done with both partners' knowledge and consent, most swingers do not consider their outside partners infidelity.

DEFINING THE LINES: A SWINGER'S DICTIONARY

Swinging: Also referred to as 'The Lifestyle', swinging is a non-monogamous behavior in which singles or partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activity with others as a recreational or social activity.

Cheating: Marital infidelity without your partner's knowledge or consent.

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Open relationship: A term to describe a relationship arrangement in which both parties in a couple are permitted to engage with other individuals, with or without the knowledge of their primary partner.

'The Rules': For swingers, 'The Rules' are guidelines and principles agreed on by couples to participate in the lifestyle.

Swinging scale: The range of acceptable swinging activities as determined by a couple and/or an individual.

Full Swap: Full swinging experience - no holds barred.

Full Swap, Same Room: Full swinging experience, but both partners must remain in the same room throughout.

Soft Swap: A limited swinging experience where the line is typically drawn short of sexual intercourse.

Vanilla: Term used to describe people who do not participate in the lifestyle.

Unicorn: Term described to describe a single female - also referred to as the 'mythical creature' - who engages in sexual activity with another couple. There is no known male equivalent.

Cruise Director: Term used to describe the individual who is in charge of the action at a swinging event.

Staff have dismantled swings at a playground after children suffered electric shocks while playing on them - and locals have blamed overhead pylons.

Shaun Veness was with his three-year-old daughter Poppy at the playground in High Brooms, near Tunbridge Wells, Kent, on August 14 when she complained that it 'hurt' when she held onto the metal chains attached to the swing.

Mr Veness, who spotted 132,000 volt power lines overheard, said his daughter started crying and told him 'Get me off daddy, it hurts' before he quickly took his daughter off the swing to stop her getting zapped again.

He then held on to the metal chain to see if there was a problem, and in a video posted on Facebook, seen by nearly 20,000 people, the chains can be heard 'buzzing with electric current' when he grabs them.

Shaun Veness was with his three-year-old daughter Poppy at the playground in High Brooms, near Tunbridge Wells, Kent, when she complained that it 'hurt' when she held on to the swing

Mr Veness, who spotted 132,000 volt power lines overheard, said there was a 'constant current' running through the metal chains of the swing

He said there was a 'constant current' and that is was not static electricity, adding: 'When I took her off I felt the chain, it wasn't static, it was a running current.'

Swings

Mr Veness immediately contacted housing chiefs at Town & Country Housing - which own and run the playpark and nearby housing estate - and bosses at UK Power Networks.

Specialists arrived soon after and tested the chains on the swings and the metal climbing frame - and they have now been removed from the playground.

Grundig tv remote. Writing online, Mr Veness said: 'Interesting walk today.. Put Poppy onto a swing and she started crying, I grabbed the chain to get her off and felt a hell of a jolt!!!

'Got her off and then recorded this!!! 2 of the 5 swings had current running through the chains.

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'Not sure what sort of mess that would make of a pacemaker?'

He added: 'It felt like a cattle fence, my hair was on end all day. Poppy is okay and we've gone back since but it has fascinated me how this could happen.'

Roksana Mia said: 'We have the same issue..ladies there (at the play park) said to me be careful because you get electricity shock on it.

'I was putting my little girl on one of those swings and when I just touched her back to push I felt this electricity going through her back and she jumped off it crying.'

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A spokesman from Electrical Safety First, a charity which works to prevent death and injuries caused by electrical accidents, told the Kent Messenger newspaper last week: 'This is not simply a case of static but of a possible live current running through the chains of these children's swings.

He then held onto the metal chain to see if there was a problem, and in a video posted on Facebook, - the chains can be heard 'buzzing with electric current' when he grabs them

Mr Veness immediately contacted housing chiefs at Town & Country Housing and bosses at UK Power Networks, and specialists quickly removed the swings

'We are pleased to see the developer has since removed the swings, which sit very close to power cables.'

Bosses at UK Power Networks said it found no fault with the power lines or at a substation on the edge of the play area.

Chiefs at Town and Country Planning, which own and run the housing estate where the playground is, said that the playground's 'proximity' to the 132,000 volt overhead power lines and nearby sub-station was being investigated.

A spokesman said: 'As there had not been any reports of issues previously, it seems to be as a result of the unique weather conditions.

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'We understand that this case is unique and believe the case was due to the exceedingly hot, dry spell of weather.

'We will work with UK Power Networks to redesign the equipment to mitigate against potential risk in the future.

'We are continuing to investigate the cause and are unable to speculate further until these investigations are complete.'

The spokesman added: 'Due to advice taken, it is necessary for us to remove the swings in the play area.

'We are however looking to find a suitable place to replace the swings. We are really sorry and hope we can find a solution very soon.'